Parents come from different backgrounds. Some have an incomplete past where their needs have not been met when they were children. Others come from families who have constantly supplied and lavished them with their needs and wants alike. Some parents who represent both of these groups are determined to instantly complete the needs of their children in order to show love. Is this healthy? Does this instant satisfaction have long term effects?
Modern psychology shows that it is not healthy to give what your child asks from you as soon as they demand it. The concept is called "Delay of gratification". A small delay in supplying what your child is asking you is training him to be patient, thankful and later develop into adults who are able to withstand the pressures of life.
This process gives the child the opportunity to work up to earning what they need instead of just giving it. This is not about their basic needs such as food, water, safety etc. You can ask your child to wait a few minutes for their snack, put off a week in buying him the toy he wants, teach him to earn stars or points by way of a star chart to obtain his favorite meal from McDonalds or clean his room before he sits down for television. All these activities and many other creative ways teach the child to pay attention to give weight to an activity that might not seem pleasing at present but will bring gratification later. It will also help them analyze and think over about what they actually need. It will be a handy tool for their adult life in prioritizing and organizing their work and to be thankful for what they get.
9 Comments
Wow! This shows me why I have the impulsive tendencies I have! My parents always gave me whatever I asked for and never had to wait, which in turn developed behaviors that often are hindrances to me as an adult...Great post!
ReplyDeleteThank you for taking the time to read !
DeleteI agree with a child having to work up for their earnings to get an item, because not only do they get to experience a gratification in their own abilities, but also they will appreciate the item more than if it was just given to them freely. Informative post!
ReplyDeleteThank you for your valuable input !
DeleteImportant post.. Parents are the ones who developed them mental & physically.. My opinion is It's a must to do
ReplyDeleteThank you very much for your feed back !
DeleteI feel like with my children we always tried to delay some of their wants. Sometimes they figured it wasn’t something they really wanted. We tried to teach the difference between a need and a want & allowed them to make choices based on that.
ReplyDeleteI love seeing them now when they apply the same principles and helps them make better and well informed decisions.
That is encouraging to hear ! Thank you
DeleteI agree because I experience this in personally with my 2 kids.
ReplyDelete